Photo by Christian Bowen on Unsplash

Dear Birth Nurse,

As I sit here and reflect on my experiences, and encounters with you, I am overwhelmed with feelings of deep appreciation and gratitude. Allow me to elaborate.

Here we stand; in the birthing room of an extremely anxious and excited family, who is about to embark on the journey of a lifetime. You introduce yourself as their nurse, and let them know that you’ll be caring for them. Your nurturing spirit sends a wave of calm over everyone present. 

You then extend your hand to mine. We exchange names. With a smile, you welcome me, a doula, into this space. Your body language and tone assures me that we are teammates. Your support role is very different from mine, and yet here we are on the same team, working alongside one another towards a common goal. The family witnesses this interaction between us, and exhales in relief.  

As time passes, I watch as you care for this family, answer questions, and provide words of comfort and encouragement. I notice all of the ways in which you advocate and act as a bridge between your patient and their provider. Your gentle touch, your smile, and your kindness goes much further than I can express in words. Your laugh, and the way you can bring a joyous and lighthearted energy into the room, is so refreshing, and necessary.

I take note of your ability to sympathize with and honor this particular family’s unique birth experience. I also sense the subtle shifts in your energy, and how you conduct yourself to meet the family exactly where they are. You may have even shared a piece of your own personal story, further humanizing the connections that we are building with every passing moment. It’s Incredible. 

I can see your passion for the important work that you do. And we both know just how important it is. We connect there - on that level. We share several glances throughout, communicating with our eyes, never really having to say a word. We just know.

Early on, I was taught that as a doula, it is crucial to know where my job ends and where yours begins. To exist in that space together and to not overstep that line. I was happy to oblige. But it wasn’t until I was extremely comfortable in my own role that I could fully see yours. It was then that I would meet you at that place where our roles collide harmoniously for the benefit of the birthing family. You serving your purpose, and me serving mine. Both of us understanding.

I see you, dear nurse. On behalf of birth doulas everywhere, thank you for all that you do! Thank you for caring for birthing families. And thank you for graciously accepting us as your teammates. 

Signed,

A grateful birth doula.